Which Blanket do you like? Thoughts on giving and receiving feedback

I scrolled through my phone while walking, eating, brushing my teeth… you name it. I was looking at the various photos I had sent some of my friends and family with the characters I was working on illustrating. With no illustrating background, I was learning as I went. Blanket was one of the most challenging characters. “How does one draw a blanket?” I wondered. “A rectangle with a face on it?”

I took my daughter’s blanket from her room and positioned it in multiple ways and took pictures on my phone. I googled images of cartoon blankets. I drew several variations. Nothing looked right to me. But, finally I found one position that I thought might be ok. The blanket was all squished up, with a little round part on the top like a head. I drew it a few times, and then scanned it to my computer to color it in.

My husband told me it didn’t look right, so I did the same blanket in 3 different colors and asked a few people. “Which Blanket do you like?”

I got a few responses about how beautiful my shading was or which color looked better. I wasn’t really sure, but it was the best I had and I was going to go with it.

That was until my dad’s honest feedback. “Neither.” More than making me feel good, more than worrying about my reaction, my dad wanted to help me be successful. It would have been so easy for him to answer the direct question. But he heard the and answered the indirect question: how do I make Blanket better? His response was said in love. It was not hurtful. And ultimately it helped me grow and made my book better that it otherwise would have been.

Giving honest feedback can be hard, even when it’s requested. Being honest with ourselves, our spouses, and our children can be challenging. However, when done with love and good intent, that is the kindest way to support those we love. It is up to the person hearing the feedback to decide how to receive it.